The Fontenot

Shuttin' Er Down

Hey loyal readers,

The Fontenot hates to do this in a letter. It's so impersonal. But The Fontenot is leaving you for Other Ways to Spend Spare Time. It's not that we didn't like hanging out with you. You were so hilarious and nice, and we loved that thing you always did with your hair, all of you. It's just that the Fontenot is getting fat and lazy and sometimes just doesn't feel like talking. At all. Don't worry, though, there are other fish in the Bay (see list of excellent Packer blogs on left.)

It's been fun. Let's win the Super Bowl this year, eh?

M

Pretty Pretty Pretty Good

What's burned into my brain more than anything after all that is Aaron's Rodgers' reaction to his QB sneak touchdown. The huge windup before he slammed the ball into the ground. The way he raised his knees up, while being patted by happy fans during his Lambeau Leap, as if to give up as much of his body to the fans as possible. All that was missing was a barbaric yawp. Great to see.

Greg Jennings' play and offensive player introductions were solid.

The team's penalties--especially Chad Clifton and Tony "Death" Moll's--were annoying, but if last year is any indication of what we can expect this year, Coach Mike will get that straightened out. He's good at correcting those kinds of things. I bet we have less than 5 penalties next week.

Kornheiser in the first half was beyond annoying, what with his stupid assumptions that every Packer fan is thinking "What Would Favre Do?" at every possible moment. Doesn't he get that most people are behind Rodgers now? Doesn't he comprehend that we are more complex human beings than that? Luckily Tirico and Jaws let him know he was being a turd, and he shut up.

A.J. Hawk's hair was longer than I realized it was. Fabio long.

The D was tight, and Nick Barnett got hotheaded.

Did you see Aaron Kampman's celebration in the first quarter after his sack? He grabbed the helmets of two other lineman, jumped up, and whacked his helmet in the middle of them. It was vaguely Three Stooges-like. I hope he does it every game.

I'm interested to see how our DBs fare against the Lions' receivers and a decent passer in Kitna. The D proved it could close down the run, but stopping Tavaris Jackson and the Vikings WRs doesn't really tell you much of anything.

(Note to readers: The Fontenot's going to be downsizing its coverage to a post once a week, maybe twice. Our more in-depth coverage has been moved to Bangalore, where we have everything typed for us more cheaply than we can do it ourselves. Sorry.)

Kornheiser Blows, Rodgers Glows!!!

Last year I really never watched a whole Monday Night Football game, because I taught a class on Monday nights until late.  This means that last night's game was really my first Game Length Kornheiser Experience.

Guess what? Now I see why people really don't like him much! I get that the national audience is more interested in the Favre story, and the lovable qualities of Green Bay, etc., but couldn't Tony have at least said something vaguely original about the subjects? Apparently not. He is a bearded hot air balloon, with sandbags filled with horsecrap. The other two weren't much better. Only in the late third quarter did they start to remember that some of us might want to know a few things about the players actually on the field, actually playing football. I found myself almost wishing for Dennis Miller.

Anyway, my takeaway from last night is that if Aaron Rodgers won't be super-amazing, he will likely be good, and, above all, composed. And you know what? For some strange reason, I'm attracted to the idea of a composed quarterback.

My brother and I were talking about the slick look of panic you can see in some quarterbacks' eyes when they feel out of control.  Brian Brohm had it quite a bit last night, Favre had it quite often even last year, but throughout last night's game, Rodgers seemed clear-eyed and focused and calm. Same face we've seen as he's answered 899 questions about Favre and all that. Same face I saw on him in the Dallas game. There was a lot of talk on the night Favre was God in Oakland after his Dad died, about the comfort of playing a game in times of stress, because on a football field there are perameters, controls, cut and dried quantifiables. I got the feeling Aaron was feeling that comfortable feeling last night. His quiet display of satisfaction after throwing that TD to Jones had a Phil Jackson zen vibe to it. It was a mature reaction.

Best Fan Sign of the Night:  "Please Be Good, Aaron." That cuts right to it, doesn't it?

Other stuff:

Loved that Brandon Jackson run, where he ducked under a tackle and bulled ahead like a little tank engine. Loved the legwork. It's nice to know we might be okay at RB if Grant, who has been injury-prone, was to go down. (Maybe I'll be an idiot and hoard BJ in my fantasy league as a just-in-case. Whatever it takes to go 5-5 again this year.)

How 'bout that first team D? Hodge, Hawk, Tramon and Blackmon? Holla.

I found it interesting how the coaches have been trying to get Rodgers to not throw every ball so hard. Sounded like advice that might have been given early on to Favre, who, in my memory right now, is tossing that immaculate touch pass to Wesley Walls in the Oakland game.

Can't wait to see Rodgers play a whole game. Also, can't stand the idea of him being hurt, because if he is it's a sad battle of the Rookies.

Hey, Remember Last Year's Front Office Scandal?

Oh, we were so young and pimply then.

Also, makes me wonder how this whole thing would have gone down if John Jones was hired, and if he was the volatile asshole he was rumored to be.

That's all I got today.

So.........

In lieu of actual commentary, here's a little sampler platter of Packer/Favre stuff.

1. Children are being indoctrinated to hate Aaron Rodgers.

A quote from the P-G: 

"But Rodgers finds less amusing the half-dozen or so times he’s been sworn at by Favre fans, including children, as he’s stopped to punch in his entry code to enter the players’ parking lot.

“When a little kid is yelling swear words at me, that kind of gets to me a little bit,” Rodgers said. “The boos? They expect a high level of play, and they miss Brett Favre, I understand that. But the f-you and the little kids saying swear words, I don’t understand that.”

2.  Brett Favre's eyes are 150 years old, and sad.

Look here, and here, and here.

3. Bubba Franks is at least temporarily, Favre's playbook sherpa. You wonder how much Favre will have to rely on Bubba in the first quarter of the season. Bubba might consider asking for a bit more money right about now. If he wanted to be an asshole about it.

4. Found this on youtube.com and felt bad for the dude that took the time to put it together, only to find it irrelevant 1 day later--the Favre part, at least.

5. Additional Prediction: Packers have #4 defense in the NFL this year, despite all their losses in personnel.

The Future

I predict...

I will vomit a little into my mouth the first time I see Favre in a Jets uniform.

I will then root for the Jets.

I will inevitably find things out about Jerricho Cotchery.

The Jets will win 8 games, going 4-8 to start, winning 4 in a row at the end, similar to the 2006 Packers.

Favre throws 25 touchdowns and 25 interceptions, 6 of those interceptions in the first 2 games.

The Packers will go 11-5 and win the division. The Vikings go 10-6 and win a wildcard spot.

Aaron Rodgers throws 20 touchdowns and 25 interceptions.

Ryan Grant rushes for 1400+ yards and Brandon Jackson racks up 500+.

Jordy Nelson appears in a Van Boxtel Ford commercial, has a threesome with two St. Norbert's coeds, and is given the nickname "Curious Jordy" by Mark Tauscher because of his haircut.

More shots of Favre wearing sunglasses like Mr. Cool will run in newspapers now that he's a New York Quarterback.

Adam and Erick Rolfson begin sixteen years of expensive and useless psychotherapy and/or a new website called BrettyandtheJets.com.

Ted Thompson will get a professional massage as a gift from one of the many couples he is friends with. The primal sound he makes when the masseuse finds the enormous stress knot in his upper back will deeply embarrass but greatly relieve him. He will then accidentally tell the masseuse his deepest, darkest secrets.

Mike McCarthy will not get a professional massage, but will continue to accept half-hearted neck massages from his wife.

Sadness At the Realization That the World Moves In a Manner Completely Out of Our Control

It's a Tuesday night. Wait, sorry. Wednesday morning. It looks like Favre is going to Tampa Bay.

I am sad. I feel as if a lovable uncle and his wife have broken up, citing irreconcilable differences. I feel a little less joy exists in the world.

I do not think Favre will do well in Tampa Bay, if he does in fact go there. I think he will do poorly. He will struggle and seem foolish and sad and bring on the wrath and indifference of the world only a year after ending in a blaze of inspiring glory. This doesn't make me happy. I would like for him to do well, just well enough to make the playoffs, but not beat the Packers. But this is asking too much. He is no longer Unlimited Possibility, Even In The Face of Outright Failure. Brett is now becoming a different symbol, and no one wants to say what.

How could he do well now, so late in the game in a city that barely knows him? The odds are not good. His headspace is all hot and bothered and depressed and conflicted and cramped. How could he possibly shut everything out and focus in the way necessary to win, now that his heart is heavy and his motivations all bungled? Favre's become a tortured soul now, which makes him even more human, if we are to believe humanity is his gift, but what good is existential ennui when you're trying to win yet another football game for a team you barely know, with players who know you only as the guy on Sports Center, and you know, deep in your heart, you've tainted your legacy with your own bullheadedness and irresponsibility? I'd take the Favre of last year over Garcia in a heartbeat. But the Favre that exists now? Who the hell knows?

 

I think it's time to go read "A Fan's Notes" by Frederick Exley, again. If you like professional football and deep, wrenching feelings of unavoidable sadness, check it out!!! If nothing else, it will prepare you for what might be a season of disappointment (though, ARodge please please prove me wrong.)

Why Is No One Able to Pull the Trigger?

I didn't watch McCarthy's press conference this evening, but just reading the transcript made me feel tired and nervous.  McCarthy, again and again, came as close as he's ever come to saying, "No, Favre will not play in Green Bay in 2008."  What's interesting, though, is that nobody--nobody in the center of the dispute--has yet to come out and say, in no uncertain terms, that it's over. Favre has said that the best thing is for he and Pack to go their separate ways, but even a quote like that is a little shady.  Why can't someone just get a little Javon Walker and dispel all ambiguity with an unambiguous, crystal clear declaration?

Because Favre still thinks it could somehow work with him in GB.  That's my guess, anyway.

ESPN's Favre-related headline tonight is, "Bye, Bye, Brett."  And yet when you delve a little into the article, you see this McCarthy quote, which comes from tonight's news conference:

"The train has left the station, whatever analogy you want. He needs to jump on the train and let's go. Or, if we can't get past things that have happened, I have to keep the train moving."

When I first read the quote, I only saw the opening line: the train has left the station. I took this to mean that the prospect of Favre returning to the Packers is officially over. But if you see the whole thing in context, you can see that it's something a little different: the train is the Packers' '08 season.  Whether or not Favre wants to come along, in McCarthy's figurative universe, is still his choice.

He's just bitter about the last 35 days.

He just doesn't know if he's too bitter.

Also, I really have to point this out: In his press conference, McCarthy mentioned that they ate Sammy's Pizza last night during their long meeting. Sound familiar? First bullet point anyone? Can I get a witness?

How Come No One Named Favre Sends Emails to The Fontenot?

Well, one source thinks the deal for Favre to Tampa is already done: savebrett.net.  It's either the sweetest breaking news ever nailed by a little sports web site or a minor lunge at internet-stardom based on some pretty good logical reasoning skills and a huge set of nuts.

Stay tuned.  I expect to shovel food into my gullet, return, and see whether the Packy got a 4th or 5th rounder for him. 

And for God's sake, TT: DO NOT TAKE CHRIS HOVAN AS PART OF THE DEAL.

I don't know how I feel about this, by the way.  I'll admit it: once he landed in Green Bay I just wanted him to play one more year.

But of course we all saw this coming.

Reich Me

I saw this over on Deadspin, but surely it's too apropos to not embed it here as well, eh?